What's Wrong with Me

I've often visited another person's blog and been confused.  They refer to an illness or struggle and I have no idea what they're talking about.  I understand a blog is kind of a history.  And coming in on the middle means I will miss things and some things won't make sense.

But I wanted to make it simpler on my blog.  I just thought it would help if you know what I'm talking about when I refer to not being well.

Diagnosed:
  hypothyroidism
  chronic, recurrent depression
  PTSD -- from various abusive situations
  PMDD -- high end PMS (up to two weeks a months, sometimes debilitating)
  carpal tunnel in both arms

Undiagnosed (after many tests and treatments including MRIs, neurological screenings, electro-conductivity testing, many blood tests, eyes checked, teeth checked, psychological screening, EKG, pain clinic workup, sleep study):
  chronic headache (since 2005)
  chronic fatigue (since 2001)
  various symptoms that may or may not be related to the above:  fluctuating vision, dizziness,   nausea

Basically, I am exhausted all of the time.  No matter how I eat or sleep.  And I hurt all day, every day.  No matter what pain meds I take.  Therefore, my life is different from what I expected it to be.  I have had to learn to redefine what is important and why I am of value.

And other than taking thyroid medication, medication for dizziness, and an occasional therapy session, I am no longer seeking treatment for any of these issues.  They are not life-threatening and I will not spend the rest of my life being a patient when I don't have to.  The roller coaster of diagnosis and treatment is just too much.  I am finding joy and value in the life I have.  For now.