What's Wrong with Me

I've often visited another person's blog and been confused.  They refer to an illness or struggle and I have no idea what they're talking about.  I understand a blog is kind of a history.  And coming in on the middle means I will miss things and some things won't make sense.

But I wanted to make it simpler on my blog.  I just thought it would help if you know what I'm talking about when I refer to not being well.

Diagnosed:
  hypothyroidism
  chronic, recurrent depression
  PTSD -- from various abusive situations
  PMDD -- high end PMS (up to two weeks a months, sometimes debilitating)
  carpal tunnel in both arms

Undiagnosed (after many tests and treatments including MRIs, neurological screenings, electro-conductivity testing, many blood tests, eyes checked, teeth checked, psychological screening, EKG, pain clinic workup, sleep study):
  chronic headache (since 2005)
  chronic fatigue (since 2001)
  various symptoms that may or may not be related to the above:  fluctuating vision, dizziness,   nausea

Basically, I am exhausted all of the time.  No matter how I eat or sleep.  And I hurt all day, every day.  No matter what pain meds I take.  Therefore, my life is different from what I expected it to be.  I have had to learn to redefine what is important and why I am of value.

And other than taking thyroid medication, medication for dizziness, and an occasional therapy session, I am no longer seeking treatment for any of these issues.  They are not life-threatening and I will not spend the rest of my life being a patient when I don't have to.  The roller coaster of diagnosis and treatment is just too much.  I am finding joy and value in the life I have.  For now.

5 comments:

DaNelle said...

Wow, I love your blog! You posted on my blog from SITS and I am so impressed with yours! You are so brave to blog about your abusive Dad. I had an abusive childhood even though I was raised Mormon and even here I'm scared to say it. Can't wait to read up on your blog and get inspired.

steve lyles said...

I am assuming you have researched mold or bio toxin illness? You sound like a candidate ..... search the work of dr Ritchie shoemaker ..... peace out:)

Wendy said...

Having gone from Hyper to hypothyroidism I feel a little of your pain. Its so dang frustrating. I recently found out that carpal tunnel syndrom is a side effect of hypothyroidism. Fun when you work on a pc the entire day long.

One good thing from me going from hyper to hypo is that the insane rages left me. I've found that the depression is easier to manage if I stay away from sugar (which I crave so desperately at times).

Life can be a challenge some days

anneliese k said...

I just found your blog and love it! I have had a lot of the same mystery symptoms for years (recurring headaches, mood swings, depression, etc). I gave up gluten and dairy and reduced my sugar intake. While I am still tired most days due to an 11 month old, I do feel like a different person :)Have you explored the dietary connection?

Anonymous said...

Two things that can cause dizziness and nausea--migraines and Lyme Disease. The latter can be undiagnosed for YEARS. It can cause memory loss, equilibrium issues, vision issues, swollen and aching joints, anemia, low-grade fever, irritability, depression, fatigue and so many other things. There are more than 100 co-infections associated with Lyme Disease. Ask your PCP run a Lyme Disease screening.