I counted the other day and it turns out I will be having my hysterectomy and oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries) about nine months after I first started really hurting and knew I needed to go to the doctor. This got me thinking about the other ways this whole thing has been like a pregnancy.
The biggest similarity is the nesting. Okay, I'm not getting my house ready for a new baby, but I have been deep cleaning and getting my house ready for my down time and possibly visitors. I don't generally receive visitors in my bedroom, but that will be a possibility for a few days after surgery. So I wanted it to be presentable. All those things I've wanted to do for a long time to make it the way I wanted it to be are finally getting done now. I've been deep cleaning and purging so I can recuperate in peace without being anxious about things that need to be done. Other than maintenance (which includes getting my family to actually clean up after themselves), my house is ready!
Discomfort. Ugh. Being pregnant brings about all kinds of weird and unexpected changes to your body. And you spend so much time worrying if this is normal or something to worry about. Should I call the doctor? Do I need to go to the hospital? Twinges. Pain. Swelling. Cramping. The one thing that's been nearly constant these last nine months is a cramping uterus - very like contractions only less come-and-go and more constant, like a Charlie horse. It feels like I have a giant rock in my lower abdomen, very much like when I was about two months pregnant. Uncomfortable to me, but not noticeable to anyone else.
And, because of my uterus being displaced, a more frequent need to pee.
An ultrasound as part of the diagnostic process.
Way too many pelvic exams.
Way more doctors visits than I'd like.
Deciding when and how to tell people.
Lots of people asking when my date is (surgery date as opposed to due date).
And when it's time I will go to the hospital and have a delivery of sorts and spend a night in the hospital while they monitor my bleeding and recovery.
I won't be bringing home a bundle of joy (but I also won't be gaining another lifelong responsibility). There will be no naming of anything under any circumstances.
But hopefully, when all is said and done, I will experience the same joy and freedom and relief that comes after pregnancy when I feel like I finally have my body back the way it should be. Fingers crossed!