Actually, right this very minute there is sunshine. It's 12:30am and completely dark outside, but there is sunshine in my heart. There are colors in my soul. I look around and see so much that makes me happy.
Yesterday, on Halloween of all days, my depression finally broke. I made my bed for the first time in over a month. And I was happy.
Oh, it's been a long spell. While it hasn't been my most gut-wrenching or life threatening depression, it sure was an ugly one. Month after month of darkness. It had me pinned by the throat; I felt like it would never let go.
Nothing I tried helped. Nothing anyone tried helped. My friends and family worried. I even worried a bit, as much as a person can when depressed.
Nothing brought me happiness. Everything was heavy. Everything was a chore. I barely existed.
And just like that it went away. It was like I woke up from a bad dream. A bad, black-and-white dream. And there are colors again. Kind of like landing in OZ.
There is so much going on. I have lots more to write. But that will have to wait.
I just want to focus on this moment and this feeling. I am happy. And it's magical!